People who write about their “depression” and wanting to kill themselves online are 99,9% of the time only attention whoring.
Usually the ones who really are suffering keep their mouths shut about it/maybe open up to people in private but not on the internet.
99.9 percent of the time they’ve been trying to keep their mouths shut about it for years because if they talk about it they hear things like “you’re just an attention whore,” and so they can’t trust anyone to talk about it. There comes a point where you have nowhere to turn and you can only hope that someone who understands will stumble on your post and give you an answer.
What’s so wrong with crying out for attention? We are human. We need attention. No one wants to be known as the whiny kids who take everything too seriously and can’t seem to get over things, but there’s a point where you can’t keep it to yourself anymore.
Maybe some of them are exaggerating or they don’t mean it but this usually means there’s something else going on underneath, that they are being starved for attention and even if they have no plans of killing themselves they are slowly getting desperate.
It never works and I think they realize that but there’s nothing else you can do.
Maybe you’re one of the silent sufferers but I feel like after a very long time you just can’t do it anymore. It’s not helpful and sometimes it can be dishonest but…there’s always a reason.
Anyway, I know it’s kind of nitpicky, but I hate “99 percent/majority” arguments because why do we always have to be so suspicious of everyone? I think it’s better to mistakenly give someone the benefit of the doubt, because thinking everyone is out to trick us or cheat the system is a fantasy and it’s only hurting ourselves. Maybe these people exist and maybe I’m wrong maybe there’s no good reason but people don’t exist in a vacuum and I don’t think anyone exists who’s not trying to do what they think is the best thing and trying their best to get through. anyway, even if you don’t agree with me, I think these people you’re talking about are a minority.
I realize we are all in different circles and we see vastly different slices of populations, and we tend to get the same kinds of people all crowded into our field of vision, so maybe we’re seeing different things but still…I keep thinking about it and I just can’t believe this and I think it’s harming people who have nowhere else to turn, because it’s just one more thing that makes them feel guilty for asking for help.
No one should be told they should just suffer in silence, and that’s basically what you’re saying.
At least that’s what I think.
Wow it was really long and I really don’t care if anyone reads this but I’d been meaning to say something to this effect for a while anyway.
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder 17 years ago. I’m not ashamed of it, and attempting to shame others for having a MENTAL ILLNESS and daring to talk about it, as the OP is doing above, is absolutely unconscionable. Who is anyone to tell people they’re not choosing the “correct” method to talk about their mental illness? This is the sort of thinking that stops people who may have nowhere else to turn from reaching out for help because they’re afraid they’ll be dismissed as “doing it for attention”. Perhaps rather than conceiving of it as “attention whoring”, it would be more helpful, and more accurate, to think of it as a very real cry for help. People with depression often don’t really know what’s wrong, and don’t know where to look for help, and their attempts to handle it on their own can have devastating consequences.
I talk about my struggles with depression far more on the internet than I do in real life, because 1) discussing it with people (other than mental health professionals) in person often makes them very uncomfortable, which makes me uncomfortable and is often less than helpful, and 2) I hope that someone else may see my posts about it, know that they’re not alone, and see that even though depression doesn’t just go away, it DOES get easier to manage.
As someone who doesn’t suffer from depression I would advise anyone thinking of pronouncing judgment on those who discuss their own experiences with it to shut the hell up.
Theater report! Next to Normal
This title is a misnomer. This weekend I did in fact see a production of Next to Normal. The cast was very good but there were some directorial decisions I didn’t like that really marred this particular production for me, though, so I don’t especially want to discuss what I just saw. Hence this isn’t really a report per se. But, seeing the show did make me think that I should talk about Next to Normal and how great it is!
Next to Normal is a musical about a woman, Diana, who’s been struggling with severe bipolar disorder for over a decade. Her illness has proved very difficult to treat, and it’s taken an incredible toll on Diana and her family. There are only six roles in the show: Diana, her husband, her son, her daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and one actor who plays two of Diana’s psychopharmacologists. There’s no chorus: in some numbers, actors who aren’t on stage act as a sort of mini-chorus for the principals of that particular scene.
This show is like no other portrayal of mental illness I’ve ever seen onstage in its treatment of Diana’s disease as a diseasethat affects her real life, not as something magical or as a device that furthers the plot. The disease is the plot, or more specifically the ways she and her loved ones cope with it is the plot. For a musical - and a big, elaborate Broadway musical, no less - it’s heady and very intimate subject matter, handled very truthfully and incredibly painfully.
One of the best things about the show, though, is that it’s not just a pain-fest. It’s frequently comedic and lively as well, and importantly Diana herself is a big part of that. She’s allowed to be clever and likeable and just funny sometimes. (Describing the side effects of a new drug regimen to her psychopharm: “I’ve completely lost my appetite and gained six pounds, which is, you know, just not fair.”)
The real reason I love this show, though, is just its willingness to treat mental illness as real world thing. Diana is ill, but she still hopes and strives and loves like anybody else. Her disease causes her family a lot of pain, but they still love her like family does. Most importantly, her illness is an illness and not a mystical curse, something that seems insurmountable some days but which she nevertheless has lived with for years and can, with work, continue to live with. That image -one that I personally have been a part of several times in my life - is one we don’t see very often. In pop culture the mentally ill are so often viewed from the outside, as dangerous, unsettling ciphers. I think that Next to Normal (which was a deservedly huge hit on Broadway) has done and can still do a lot of good in destigmatizing mental illness in the pop-culture zeitgeist.